Вірші
A home
А home in darker corner
I would rather have
All the better if it's lonely
Hidden from the sky
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472
There flew an angel
There flew an angel
He saw us dream
He told the god
We can sing
There flew the fallen
He saw us mean
He told his father
We like to sin
We saw each other
We counted scars
We dreamt of something
We all once had
We dreamt of childlike
Freedom of mind
Freedom that lasted
Long before gods
Fell into silence
Faded in time
There flew an angel
No one could tell
If the wind touched his mantle
If his heart felt the pain
If any of us,
Who pretend to have faith
Could feel him passing
Near us again.
If any of this
Happened or not
I feel like I've missed
In this life a lot
If he ever passed by
Wonder what did he see
The saint i am not
Or the black light in me
1
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464
Song for the lost ones
Solace for the lost
So to burn
Overcome with one more
Need to go
Tell him there's more
Tell her there's love
Tell them hope tarries long
It's not gone
Sing of peace for the lost
Sing of home
Darker still that it may get
It may get too hard to tread
There's one more song to light the way
One more dream,
Yet one more aim.
2
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400
I'm a trouble
Sometime tomorrow I'll take it slower,
Some better words, some better story
Some sure progress, not just a notion.
This is the promise.
Today I speed ahead of my prospects
Emotions complex, stumbling verses
Crumbling curses,
Arguing, worthless,
Dreaming of perfect.
Trouble my name
Struggling shame
Sharing the pain
Wearing the same
Not to be blamed
For singing in shades
I'm a trouble walking by
Best of times
I'm a Trouble asking why
Start to rhyme
When I need to rise
When I need trust
Test the limits
Hey, forgive me...
I'm a trouble to the bone
Tryna make the difference,
Tryna mend the wrong.
2
2
353
To tell a story
How could you take that story
And tell it with a voice so boring?
How could you read about passion
And make me feel nothing?
Your name is a black spider on the page
Among them so many sleep awake.
I hear you, human, I hear you try
To tell a story, but you're blind,
You think and hope you do your best,
But you are coward like the rest,
Who live and breathe, and age, and die
All in a state of being blind,
Of being humans to the bone.
To tell a story takes a lot more
Feeling and thinking outside the box
Outside the normal current of thoughts
Outside the calm, safe side of the world
Filled with echoes, and whispers, and moans.
I am so shy, so stressed out to tell
For I fear I still can't do it well
For my voice is not strong enough to give a sound
To those echoes of dreams that haunted me down.
I am a teller, I never get home
One road to another I travel alone
You may well lie to others
Saying you can narrate
But your voice fades to silence
And they forget what you said.
4
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272
I've had a life in a dream
Woke up at the end of the fall
Too late to get back control
Too close to the edge, but no fear
I've had a life in a dream
Why now,
now that no one cares about
Now that all the walls are down
Why the fuck now?
Don't tell me
Don't tell me it's done
Don't tell me i can no longer stay
Don't tell me i can't choose the way
Been back like a hundred times
Been wearing hate like a mask
Wearing death like a battle crow
On my shoulder, still i wonder
What I've done
1
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383
Trust
In a way you never did before
Look in shades, so ashamed to show
What i need to know
Say what are you waiting for?
Not for you to decide
If you choose to live a lie
To let go now it's a crime
For a lifetime.
In a way minutes flow
Feel the doom, lone soul
I know we're better off
This road.
In a way i adore you
I know there's nothing you can do
To make me feel ashamed of you
To make me turn my back on you
In a way we walked so long
To the dream of a better home
Why do you think you must
Try not to lose my trust?
For the beat: Anymore_Sad_Emotional_Storytelling_Piano_Instrumental_Prod. Starbeats
0
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386
The War
Here stands the man
With the ashes of his plans
With the passion still alive
Folks, fear his wicked mind
Here stands the banned
Banned of every chance
To make a stand
So dread the fate makes him your friend
For the same hand haunts him dead
Before you say you can see me
Before you go all grown up wisdom
Let me tell you one thing
You live a year, i live three
I read too much, too much I've seen
Believe or not i care less
All i care is the time left,
and how it is spent
the same toils every day, like does he, like you do, it is the life law we have to accept
But when you're asleep in bed, guess where's me.
On another trip to hell
To a war field.
No weapon allowed, just the soul's own strength
Do not look it in the eyes - there is something worse than death.
But it knows me, i will stand
I will stand until the wear
Brings me up to join the grey
The ones that make the light afraid.
And in the ashes laid to rest
Best of faith
In the war that never ends
Flames will fade
That's when he calls me
That's when i rise
I've made a promise
I survive
Every time say one more time
Every death just makes a breach
In chain that binds
The awakened mind.
Here comes the day
And the little things it takes
To keep the pace.
little dreams of better ways.
1
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343
Outro I
Time will come
That I am gone
You'll see my life
You will recall
Things that I did wrong
Places I belonged
Changes that have failed
Somehow to make me strong.
Maybe you'll forget
That I loved you best.
Maybe with regrets
You'll lay me to rest
With the past that hurts
Through the dark of days.
Gone, as I desired.
Gone, not quite as planned.
More than just a shadow,
Less than human kind.
Distant, grey and lifeless.
A Hound with empty eyes.
Little space between
All the greatest lies.
Long I lived to fight
Both Dark and liar Light.
Only Death had stayed,
Lingered at my side.
Of an endless terror
Here I've found an end.
Found faith in Goddess Life
Breathing is the Prayer.
1
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Prophecy 1
In a place
Where all is hidden
There one shall never seek
Speak to the devil, pray to angels
In the cold wells he shall be.
One shall dwell high crowned with hatred,
The other shall seek for the death.
Dust and silk will cover in stages
Dear image of beloved face.
Call to the wells stronger with time,
Bitter taste in the richest of wines.
Only cure for obsession is another obsession
With the forbidden one.
Dear and feared, all in one glare.
Entwined in the bedroom, brought back to the stage,
Bound with a destiny, sealed with pain,
May one find another when the dark comes back to reign.
4
1
410
Call it too late
Life in raps, cracks about
Packed up in little bags
In a short tracks, that’s how it’s done
Still I don’t know how.
Steal an hour for the soul
And down I go
And drown still low
In my head some thoughts
But it works so slow…
I need some space,
Give me some space,
May it be too late,
Call it too late.
3
1
367
Ghosts don't follow me
Ghosts don’t follow me, am I too normal?
Am I too sober? I still need their company,
I feel greed appaling, feels like I’ve finally fallen
I live to capture the moments
When I hear them laughing
When I share their passions
On my own I’m nothing
Pausing reality, waiting for madness
Mating with darkness, painting it classic
Not asking, answers just passing, bubbling acid
Mumbling something under the covers
Ashes to ashes, mean nothing
Without dose of distraction.
Black ink, something to judge.
Something enough to put up the fires.
For one hour, sleep till you wake.
Change never lasting, taking no shape.
2
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310
Reach for me
get it right, get it right
and just one night
to do the week's task
ain't no way to sneak out
in the light
pale face in the mirror
pale face in the window
plans made, time to rest
but here comes depression
with all of its hate
reach for me
reach for me, i beg
say you'll stay
say you care
get it right, get it right
scared of life, scared of fight
i need a reason to go on
cause my night's so long
cause my light's long gone
2
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405
Am I missing something?
Back to regress
Advanced level shit faced
So puffed fellas with their ass-fake grace
Make everyone believe they sell the best
Let me take the mic, this won’t take long
I drop the act and I’ll be soon gone
Now I got some ears open on this lame show
Let the acid get you sober, let the meds work.
(Let the meds work)
I’ll let you compare
"Yo lil mama, wanna fuck with me" drama
lots of bucks in their pockets
Lots of tracks that mean nothing
Cheap claps mixed with bluffing...
Wait, in like ten years it turns classic?...
Am I missing something?
Thought it meant to be massive
Damn sharp, full of passion
Carry meaning, have a value
Carry spirit of being alive…
Or I'm missing something?
You know what, I don’t get on
With your tolerance shit.
How can you mix the true gold
And this cheapest deceit?
Avoid to offend them idle greed,
But to offend a true artist’s okay, Is It?
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399
Up to your standarts
Hate it, forgive me...
Keep on repeating,
Same aim hitting.
Missing the fact that I'm missing.
Reading dark pages not seeing.
Keep running from prison.
What am I missing?
Why didn't I listen,
You say not what I'm hearing.
Snearing back, d'you think I forgot
All the times you've been pushing me over the top
To the future I wanted not.
But I still love,
And I let judge,
I question my guts,
I'm tryna tear off masks.
Start to bleed too fast,
Hate closing in,
Is that how you wanted me?
Forget my egoistic passions,
Forget how to write songs,
Make good use of my time.
Well, damn it, I tried
Till with blood I cried
Till my eyes half-blind.
D'you still think you were right?
You still think I had lied?
What do I have to do now?
Fight myself till I die?!
Tried that too - nothing happened.
Try to imagine
What's it like to live lifeless,
To live prideless
Up to your standarts.
1.08.2020
For the beat:
Free_NF_Eminem_Type_Beat "Loyalty"
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Trust
Did you know, when you told
About laws of the world
That I'll grow to find all lies?
Did you know you weren't right
Telling me good is light?
I know I shouldn't start now,
It'll not gonna break the silence.
The thing is I've been numb all my life
Learning speech from gods above.
Burning, searching, found
For what? I didn't do it for myself, did I?
Did you know, there's no fault
In saying goodbye?
Did you hold all these years
The same pain inside?
I know you won't answer now,
Like it wouldn't matter.
The thing is I've been lone all my life,
Didn't see the real cause.
Hurting, searching, burning...
For what? I didn't move one step closer, did I? I let no one know me.
I just want to spend one night
With someone in my arms,
That I won't have to fear
That someone disappear
If I fall asleep.
"Trust"_ emotional_ sad_ rap_ beat
2507 20
3
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367
Mess with don't know
Enough teaching bloody lessons
Every track I'm doing records
All new ways to think or mess with
Don't know.
Maybe i just hate grey colour,
Just as you do, wearing colar,
Tugging chains, eternal struggle.
Every day start same old round.
It means nothing, hate the sound.
When they yell I must wake up
'Been tearin' my mind apart
'Been waitin' my turn in the dark
'Been hiding bits of pride
Till I really hate my life.
Fuck, you think I'm gonna get
All this stuff out of my head?
Know this, I'm not playing stupid games.
I play games you'd shit yourself if see me play.
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461
3 a.m.
3 a.m. still I'm staring
At the blank screen
Part of me waits for this to be over
Doesn't want to get older.
Grey is the color of loathing
Often when I choose an ocean
I hope to drown
to be the last one found.
But I am too young to die,
Too young to go blind,
Just old enough to lose my mind.
Supposed to be flexible
But if I fall for you,
It'll last forever.
Myths in real life
My kind, my truth.
In my head many dead
Telling me where to head,
Healing me through causing pain,
Stealing dreams and telling tales.
Live. Never bet on maybe.
Me, walls, them,
Fill the blanks with hatred.
In the light that you adore
See you fade in just one blow,
In the dark that you ignored
Lives the story yet untold.
Free xxxrentacion nf type beat sad piano "Isolated"
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485
Scars
Sendin' message, hoping it gets through.
Making promises, dying to prove.
Driving hands free
Blood mixed with booze...
That's the way i drive.
Judge, what's the use...
What am I with no pride?
No black? What's left there to choose?
Is that what you call music?
Not true.
If i fall early, no need to dig through.
I had more than I deserve, mind you.
Leave me my ghosts
I don't know what am I If I don't
rave about ways of the world
Confronting make-believe foes
Counting dreams at the store
Even though I'm lost
There are new things I'm bringin' in
This isn't a mind talk, reasoning
It's the life fire springin' in
Maybe it's the same lame drivel here
But i got the feeling this is what's real
Meds don't taste sweet, all bitterness.
We might'n't be wantin' em, we needin' em,
Just means we're having a hard time admitting it.
19-20.07.2020
Rap lyrics for the beat: "Scars" sad piano rap beat.
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Perfect day
It's a perfect day to get lost
So perfect, don't blame me for my disconcern
Troubles will have to wait
Till i take
As much sun as this day goes smooth on its rails
I've made my daily plans and thrown them away
Sitting in the best cafe
I'll be peering out like I'm on a date
Waiting for my date to come too
To our favourite place
I'm not wearing watches, I'm in no haste
I forgot my iphone so I'll be safe
It's a beautiful day, it's a perfect day to get lost...
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Ain't no way to be in
Do me a favour,
Say what you expect.
I don't want to become an enemy
Just cause I can't read in your head.
The reason, the figures
My mind is already set on the task
But i still have to ask
What
What am I in your eyes?
What, is it a crime
That I'm not wearing masks
That sing from my heart
Want to make things last
Tell me you want me broken
Torn from room where I keep lurkin'
Tell me you want me perfect
Me the one to call normal
You know my thoughts are on the streets of London
The Raven told the next thing coming
I never had the virtue
To chase the fortune
And in the end I m broke
Searching, hoping
For that blissfull moment
That i finally found the spot where I can
Stand up, not making any decisions about protecting the private visions
Done with it. Gone from fears,
Still missing. 'm back for the beat
No deceit, just raving the next thing I bring.
No stopping, no hault.
Numb no more.
Work, I'm slow
Worse, I've sworn
Growin', all of us know
Where lays a line and it starts to snow
Still for the show, too much pain to glow
Every shade holds untold...
They all had to go
Away. Time had to flow.
Ain't no way to be in
Without missing the hurt.
Ain't no way to be in...
Ain't no way to be in...
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457
Raven
Straight as the path to the peril,
Straight as the line on his brow,
Straight as the gaze to the heaven
Of dead eyes in darkness of crowds.
If to see
Without looking
If to want
Without lust,
If it's true
That the paths untaken
Lead to no loss...
If to ask about trifles be wiser,
If to numb all the voices inside,
Then all black becomes nobler among lights,
And a mind with a madness entwined.
I wanted to write down my last wish,
And instead I am back at all rhymes.
'Tis my nature. I'm tired of fighting
Foolish hopes too stubborn to die.
The raven spoke truly a diamond,
And the Voice was of a rare kind
That either passes through mind or
Stays forever inside
Knifed with a memory, I feel no rage
For the day's diseased fumes.
I hold the feather, accept my doom,
For he awaits to meet me soon.
14.05.19.
9
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409
I'm not buying
- I want you to change...
"You don't like the clothes I wear?"
- Change yourself.
"What the hell?"
What the hell d'you tell me
And why the hell do I have to obey
I'm not your slave to do as you say
You don't even explain
Don't expect this to happen i said.
- Can you just pretend you care? How dare you?
- Yes i dare. Why are you looking hurt
This won't do any good trying to blame
For staying the same.
It worked just well
When i kicked out pussies
When they tried to push me
I don't care if you weep
And all this shit
Does not make any sense
When it comes to a choice
Leave or stay.
Stay the same
With all the pain
Not a crack on the stone
So expect no softness
Try to tease if you fucking please
But I'm not gonna change a single thing
Any reason you say it i see
Your only goal is to break me
Make me another headless shit with no spine.
You picked the wrong kind,
And might as well stop trying.
I see your eyes, I'm not buying.
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#Banner
This time I'll wreck the mind
I'll bring new banner
New manner
On the same old battle
Thinking has no value
Faces. Shadows.
Symbols to get easy access
To the mass subconscious.
So much dirt on the mic 'cause
When they take it they only try to
To get something they want
Primitive thoughts, care not for the dirt
Tool is as clean as the goal
Now I got a moment I hold
I'ma tell you what I want
(I'ma tell you what I want)
This new banner
Only me to hold?
Hell no.
Says it all
What you read
Only what you are told
What you did
Only what you've been taught
(Only what you've been taught)
No end, no beginning, no thoughts.
Don't ever say a word,
Don't be spitting the same nonsense
Gotta be someone who cares
I may be stubborn but I need my rest
Where are you brothers?
Hey...
No, not again.
I just wanted to be sure
That I have ones fighting for
But as always when I guard the doors
They find ways to screw up more.
(To screw up more)
#Rap #Lyrics for: NF type #beat the wait
18.04.20.
6
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462
Closet Land verse
Spirals of this cruel life.
Tell me about it, use those lies.
Skyes above and roof to hide
Or closet land to go when it hurts too bad.
Sad face, face numb,
Not a voice too loud,
Not a smile of pride.
Honest lies, laws of old,
Children scared, empty halls.
Tell me how much time it takes
To lay the weight of all mistakes?
Tell me why me of all?
Is it because I'm lonely,
Trust no one,
Still bear a soul...
Still utter these words...
You will not let me in,
I will not let you out.
Two trapped beings
In this half-true dark.
Less i say,
More i pay,
More you crave.
It all the same -
You, me, and faceless them.
There was a reason I'm here.
I've had too vivid dreams,
I've been bold enough to let them see
There's a way outta here,
Fresh air to breathe,
Someone else to be,
And so much to see.
8.09.19 11:42
Lyrics for the instrumental: Hip hop sad underground 11
5
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470
Leave me alone
Sometimes I have to be a cliche
I have to play unfair to stay sane
But I feel like i'll never raise a hand
I'll just give away last minutes
To stay the same
To say the same
To say his name
In empty dream, yes
I'm choosing illusions
I'm staying, don't wait
I'll be safe in here
My soul's too much in fears
I don't wanna leave it
I'm choosing illusions
I know you wanted me to call
I know you wanted me to go
Walls falling, new walls
I'm sorry, I know it's wrong
But please, leave me alone
I'm too jealous to show you
I'm too weak to say out loud
I understand it's over now
But if i tear off these illusions I'll die
5
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348
Antisocial
I know they meant good
When locked me up in the safe room
Told me all about rules
Gave me guilt and my conscience
Cultivated politeness
But modesty trapped me in silence
I was scared of what they might tell about me
It forced me to hide
Become pro in denial
So wary I never played games
Never been asking
Never trust others
Having been laughed at
Long story short, I'm a case for psychiatrists
Long story in dark colours
But time wasn't any more kind
Just that I was stubborn
Kept me alive
That's my confession
Now I feel power
The strange kind
But it's the best I could find
At night when they all shut up and leave
I could crawl out of my room and breathe
25 04 20
Created for the beat:
Antisocial dark piano underground
9
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409
Talking blood and bones
Nothing’s there,
In disbelieving eyes.
In the wind, wind back old days.
We are left to dwell in hands of Fate -
It never cares.
Alas, but so few are ill enough to see
Behind sweetness, behind the scene,
Once and always to be outside the rims,
Always seek for forbidden things.
And I envy the stones.
Thing that never live,
Never feel sorrow.
And I envy stars.
I would burn my heart
To ease my soul.
After all joy,
After all fair and false deeds,
After all hope I had and lost,
I am here. And I am nothing.
In the world of stones
I’m talking blood and bones.
8
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339
"ONES SIRVIVED"
lyrics for ost GAME OF THRONES
Whispers of a cold time
Many fears. And if longer
We will wait it - overthrow. And
Many fools here with the crown, but
See, royal blood spilt
in the dark
Crowling. while their hearts are
full of pride
See the hidden crime in
every sign
Foe come when between them
only lies
People can't help asking
Someone knows
spoken, but not loudly
Comes a war
Word of freedom soon will be heard
And men will rise their swords
Northern winter make blood run cold
If WAR worth it, no one to know
Verse 2
Whispers of a cold time
Many fears. And if longer
We will wait it - overthrow. And
Many fools here with the crown, but
See, royal blood spilt
in the dark
Crowling. while their hearts are
full of pride
See the hidden crime in
every sign
Foe come when between them
only lies
We are to be gone now
Or to die
Reasons we have plenty
no deny
Word of freedom soon will be heard
And men will rise their swords
And the legend
Is yet to come
Will it be of
Ones sirvived?
4
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394
Tolkien style
An anxient gold does not glitter
Not all those who wander are lost
Old that is strong does not wither
Deep roots are not reached by the frost
Hope that seem feeble is stronger
Than any despair at all
Forced truth will be better than sweetest
Confession of a hollow soul
Empty seat in a row tells us more
Than a hundred
Both bitter and terrible tales
Those who came sha'n't be ever just shadows
Reflecting, reminding and shame
Thus, simple nature is trick
This firmly has stated our mind
Sophisticated as we are, still
Sometimes it's better to learn from a child.
3
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314
If I could
/Before you read,
A note :
Male voice: quick, monotonous, nervous./
Glass of soul’s eyes,
Two–side mirrors
With nothing INside.
As it falls…
We look and let it…
As we step, as we stop…
Nothing changes... still.
But somewhere
I had a sound,
I had to breathe,
I had to try…
Where I was
Something changes,
Something matters.
If I could... not to tell that lie… If I could…
3
0
342
The window
Snow behind the window, cold pieces of light
So many times I’ve watched it fall, cover the life
Snow is my memory, life is my fantasy
I’m still blind, still trying to look alive.
Knowing everything and keeping silence.
Knowing everything and keeping silence.
I see lips moving, don’t try to listen,
Forgive me or not as you please leave me here.
Everything we wanted, everything we’ve had
Just laid there, in snow and dust…
I see no point,
No idea why
Must I join
A thousand years’ cycle
And it’s not just about me
It’s in the pulse of the rhythm
It’s about the abyss that lays behind the window
It’s in you, it’s in me
If we ever dreamt about anything. Anything.
I say terrible and simple words
Leave them out
Like common stones
For someone
To stumble over
And maybe someday
somehow
to be heard.
‘Cause it’s not just about my inner world
Outer world
Why do we have to split everything
Let things be abysses and windows
Them and us. You, me, Time. Dreams.
You, me, Time. Dreams.
6
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509
Doesn't mean I'm insane
I was first one to make prayers
I was the one to take vows
Best times were spinning
I was singing with the crowd
Best times were spinning
Somewhere around
I tried my best like the rest
Was lulled by faith in my chest
They said it all for the best
If someone’s gone, there’s no grief
If they were good, they’re gone on wings
I stumbled back with my wounds.
And the pain, and the the rage
Made me ask for His help.
Time was slipping through my veins.
Golden-dark face on the painting
Just looked at me and waited
So I had to go away.
And I thought that was that not enough I’ve prayed,
So I cured myself, letting go my shame.
Growing up on the battlefield
I held on my shields
I had faith, hidden in my chest.
On the last road home there walked a woman
And strode with me the long, long paths
I feared her beauty, Irresistable passion
My diamond in dust, my drug
People crowded, all to a light
Like there was nothing else in dark
She was there for them, walking hope, Elen.
And I called her mine.
Till that last time of ours.
Till that last of her times.
I stambled back, kneeling with my hollow,
Pain-stained half-mad soul.
I came back to the last refuge
To beg the Lord to comfort me.
The golden-dark face on the painting
Just looked at me and coldly waited
The image waited
As I prayed.
I prayed on knees till dusk and dawn
I cried till I just could no more
I begged with all the words I had
The painting looked as I go mad.
“Elen” I said
And echo murmured dear name
“God”
And it returned with solemn coldness
The echo sounded more like “none”
I walked away
From house of gold and smoke that day.
I take the road
With shameless smile on my face
I’m non-believer.
I carry Her name as my bane.
I cursed the god
And that doesn’t mean I’m insane.
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