Amon Din
@amondin
Писатель, циник, атеист, социопат.
Вірші
A home
А home in darker corner I would rather have All the better if it's lonely Hidden from the sky
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There flew an angel
There flew an angel He saw us dream He told the god We can sing There flew the fallen He saw us mean He told his father We like to sin We saw each other We counted scars We dreamt of something We all once had We dreamt of childlike Freedom of mind Freedom that lasted Long before gods Fell into silence Faded in time There flew an angel No one could tell If the wind touched his mantle If his heart felt the pain If any of us, Who pretend to have faith Could feel him passing Near us again. If any of this Happened or not I feel like I've missed In this life a lot If he ever passed by Wonder what did he see The saint i am not Or the black light in me
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Song for the lost ones
Solace for the lost So to burn Overcome with one more Need to go Tell him there's more Tell her there's love Tell them hope tarries long It's not gone Sing of peace for the lost Sing of home Darker still that it may get It may get too hard to tread There's one more song to light the way One more dream, Yet one more aim.
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I'm a trouble
Sometime tomorrow I'll take it slower, Some better words, some better story Some sure progress, not just a notion. This is the promise. Today I speed ahead of my prospects Emotions complex, stumbling verses Crumbling curses, Arguing, worthless, Dreaming of perfect. Trouble my name Struggling shame Sharing the pain Wearing the same Not to be blamed For singing in shades I'm a trouble walking by Best of times I'm a Trouble asking why Start to rhyme When I need to rise When I need trust Test the limits Hey, forgive me... I'm a trouble to the bone Tryna make the difference, Tryna mend the wrong.
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To tell a story
How could you take that story And tell it with a voice so boring? How could you read about passion And make me feel nothing? Your name is a black spider on the page Among them so many sleep awake. I hear you, human, I hear you try To tell a story, but you're blind, You think and hope you do your best, But you are coward like the rest, Who live and breathe, and age, and die All in a state of being blind, Of being humans to the bone. To tell a story takes a lot more Feeling and thinking outside the box Outside the normal current of thoughts Outside the calm, safe side of the world Filled with echoes, and whispers, and moans. I am so shy, so stressed out to tell For I fear I still can't do it well For my voice is not strong enough to give a sound To those echoes of dreams that haunted me down. I am a teller, I never get home One road to another I travel alone You may well lie to others Saying you can narrate But your voice fades to silence And they forget what you said.
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I've had a life in a dream
Woke up at the end of the fall Too late to get back control Too close to the edge, but no fear I've had a life in a dream Why now, now that no one cares about Now that all the walls are down Why the fuck now? Don't tell me Don't tell me it's done Don't tell me i can no longer stay Don't tell me i can't choose the way Been back like a hundred times Been wearing hate like a mask Wearing death like a battle crow On my shoulder, still i wonder What I've done
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Trust
In a way you never did before Look in shades, so ashamed to show What i need to know Say what are you waiting for? Not for you to decide If you choose to live a lie To let go now it's a crime For a lifetime. In a way minutes flow Feel the doom, lone soul I know we're better off This road. In a way i adore you I know there's nothing you can do To make me feel ashamed of you To make me turn my back on you In a way we walked so long To the dream of a better home Why do you think you must Try not to lose my trust? For the beat: Anymore_Sad_Emotional_Storytelling_Piano_Instrumental_Prod. Starbeats
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The War
Here stands the man With the ashes of his plans With the passion still alive Folks, fear his wicked mind Here stands the banned Banned of every chance To make a stand So dread the fate makes him your friend For the same hand haunts him dead Before you say you can see me Before you go all grown up wisdom Let me tell you one thing You live a year, i live three I read too much, too much I've seen Believe or not i care less All i care is the time left, and how it is spent the same toils every day, like does he, like you do, it is the life law we have to accept But when you're asleep in bed, guess where's me. On another trip to hell To a war field. No weapon allowed, just the soul's own strength Do not look it in the eyes - there is something worse than death. But it knows me, i will stand I will stand until the wear Brings me up to join the grey The ones that make the light afraid. And in the ashes laid to rest Best of faith In the war that never ends Flames will fade That's when he calls me That's when i rise I've made a promise I survive Every time say one more time Every death just makes a breach In chain that binds The awakened mind. Here comes the day And the little things it takes To keep the pace. little dreams of better ways.
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Outro I
Time will come That I am gone You'll see my life You will recall Things that I did wrong Places I belonged Changes that have failed Somehow to make me strong. Maybe you'll forget That I loved you best. Maybe with regrets You'll lay me to rest With the past that hurts Through the dark of days. Gone, as I desired. Gone, not quite as planned. More than just a shadow, Less than human kind. Distant, grey and lifeless. A Hound with empty eyes. Little space between All the greatest lies. Long I lived to fight Both Dark and liar Light. Only Death had stayed, Lingered at my side. Of an endless terror Here I've found an end. Found faith in Goddess Life Breathing is the Prayer.
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Prophecy 1
In a place Where all is hidden There one shall never seek Speak to the devil, pray to angels In the cold wells he shall be. One shall dwell high crowned with hatred, The other shall seek for the death. Dust and silk will cover in stages Dear image of beloved face. Call to the wells stronger with time, Bitter taste in the richest of wines. Only cure for obsession is another obsession With the forbidden one. Dear and feared, all in one glare. Entwined in the bedroom, brought back to the stage, Bound with a destiny, sealed with pain, May one find another when the dark comes back to reign.
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Call it too late
Life in raps, cracks about Packed up in little bags In a short tracks, that’s how it’s done Still I don’t know how. Steal an hour for the soul And down I go And drown still low In my head some thoughts But it works so slow… I need some space, Give me some space, May it be too late, Call it too late.
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Ghosts don't follow me
Ghosts don’t follow me, am I too normal? Am I too sober? I still need their company, I feel greed appaling, feels like I’ve finally fallen I live to capture the moments When I hear them laughing When I share their passions On my own I’m nothing Pausing reality, waiting for madness Mating with darkness, painting it classic Not asking, answers just passing, bubbling acid Mumbling something under the covers Ashes to ashes, mean nothing Without dose of distraction. Black ink, something to judge. Something enough to put up the fires. For one hour, sleep till you wake. Change never lasting, taking no shape.
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Reach for me
get it right, get it right and just one night to do the week's task ain't no way to sneak out in the light pale face in the mirror pale face in the window plans made, time to rest but here comes depression with all of its hate reach for me reach for me, i beg say you'll stay say you care get it right, get it right scared of life, scared of fight i need a reason to go on cause my night's so long cause my light's long gone
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Am I missing something?
Back to regress Advanced level shit faced So puffed fellas with their ass-fake grace Make everyone believe they sell the best Let me take the mic, this won’t take long I drop the act and I’ll be soon gone Now I got some ears open on this lame show Let the acid get you sober, let the meds work. (Let the meds work) I’ll let you compare "Yo lil mama, wanna fuck with me" drama lots of bucks in their pockets Lots of tracks that mean nothing Cheap claps mixed with bluffing... Wait, in like ten years it turns classic?... Am I missing something? Thought it meant to be massive Damn sharp, full of passion Carry meaning, have a value Carry spirit of being alive… Or I'm missing something? You know what, I don’t get on With your tolerance shit. How can you mix the true gold And this cheapest deceit? Avoid to offend them idle greed, But to offend a true artist’s okay, Is It?
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Up to your standarts
Hate it, forgive me... Keep on repeating, Same aim hitting. Missing the fact that I'm missing. Reading dark pages not seeing. Keep running from prison. What am I missing? Why didn't I listen, You say not what I'm hearing. Snearing back, d'you think I forgot All the times you've been pushing me over the top To the future I wanted not. But I still love, And I let judge, I question my guts, I'm tryna tear off masks. Start to bleed too fast, Hate closing in, Is that how you wanted me? Forget my egoistic passions, Forget how to write songs, Make good use of my time. Well, damn it, I tried Till with blood I cried Till my eyes half-blind. D'you still think you were right? You still think I had lied? What do I have to do now? Fight myself till I die?! Tried that too - nothing happened. Try to imagine What's it like to live lifeless, To live prideless Up to your standarts. 1.08.2020 For the beat: Free_NF_Eminem_Type_Beat "Loyalty"
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Trust
Did you know, when you told About laws of the world That I'll grow to find all lies? Did you know you weren't right Telling me good is light? I know I shouldn't start now, It'll not gonna break the silence. The thing is I've been numb all my life Learning speech from gods above. Burning, searching, found For what? I didn't do it for myself, did I? Did you know, there's no fault In saying goodbye? Did you hold all these years The same pain inside? I know you won't answer now, Like it wouldn't matter. The thing is I've been lone all my life, Didn't see the real cause. Hurting, searching, burning... For what? I didn't move one step closer, did I? I let no one know me. I just want to spend one night With someone in my arms, That I won't have to fear That someone disappear If I fall asleep. "Trust"_ emotional_ sad_ rap_ beat 2507 20
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Mess with don't know
Enough teaching bloody lessons Every track I'm doing records All new ways to think or mess with Don't know. Maybe i just hate grey colour, Just as you do, wearing colar, Tugging chains, eternal struggle. Every day start same old round. It means nothing, hate the sound. When they yell I must wake up 'Been tearin' my mind apart 'Been waitin' my turn in the dark 'Been hiding bits of pride Till I really hate my life. Fuck, you think I'm gonna get All this stuff out of my head? Know this, I'm not playing stupid games. I play games you'd shit yourself if see me play.
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3 a.m.
3 a.m. still I'm staring At the blank screen Part of me waits for this to be over Doesn't want to get older. Grey is the color of loathing Often when I choose an ocean I hope to drown to be the last one found. But I am too young to die, Too young to go blind, Just old enough to lose my mind. Supposed to be flexible But if I fall for you, It'll last forever. Myths in real life My kind, my truth. In my head many dead Telling me where to head, Healing me through causing pain, Stealing dreams and telling tales. Live. Never bet on maybe. Me, walls, them, Fill the blanks with hatred. In the light that you adore See you fade in just one blow, In the dark that you ignored Lives the story yet untold. Free xxxrentacion nf type beat sad piano "Isolated"
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Scars
Sendin' message, hoping it gets through. Making promises, dying to prove. Driving hands free Blood mixed with booze... That's the way i drive. Judge, what's the use... What am I with no pride? No black? What's left there to choose? Is that what you call music? Not true. If i fall early, no need to dig through. I had more than I deserve, mind you. Leave me my ghosts I don't know what am I If I don't rave about ways of the world Confronting make-believe foes Counting dreams at the store Even though I'm lost There are new things I'm bringin' in This isn't a mind talk, reasoning It's the life fire springin' in Maybe it's the same lame drivel here But i got the feeling this is what's real Meds don't taste sweet, all bitterness. We might'n't be wantin' em, we needin' em, Just means we're having a hard time admitting it. 19-20.07.2020 Rap lyrics for the beat: "Scars" sad piano rap beat.
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Perfect day
It's a perfect day to get lost So perfect, don't blame me for my disconcern Troubles will have to wait Till i take As much sun as this day goes smooth on its rails I've made my daily plans and thrown them away Sitting in the best cafe I'll be peering out like I'm on a date Waiting for my date to come too To our favourite place I'm not wearing watches, I'm in no haste I forgot my iphone so I'll be safe It's a beautiful day, it's a perfect day to get lost...
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Ain't no way to be in
Do me a favour, Say what you expect. I don't want to become an enemy Just cause I can't read in your head. The reason, the figures My mind is already set on the task But i still have to ask What What am I in your eyes? What, is it a crime That I'm not wearing masks That sing from my heart Want to make things last Tell me you want me broken Torn from room where I keep lurkin' Tell me you want me perfect Me the one to call normal You know my thoughts are on the streets of London The Raven told the next thing coming I never had the virtue To chase the fortune And in the end I m broke Searching, hoping For that blissfull moment That i finally found the spot where I can Stand up, not making any decisions about protecting the private visions Done with it. Gone from fears, Still missing. 'm back for the beat No deceit, just raving the next thing I bring. No stopping, no hault. Numb no more. Work, I'm slow Worse, I've sworn Growin', all of us know Where lays a line and it starts to snow Still for the show, too much pain to glow Every shade holds untold... They all had to go Away. Time had to flow. Ain't no way to be in Without missing the hurt. Ain't no way to be in... Ain't no way to be in...
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Raven
Straight as the path to the peril, Straight as the line on his brow, Straight as the gaze to the heaven Of dead eyes in darkness of crowds. If to see Without looking If to want Without lust, If it's true That the paths untaken Lead to no loss... If to ask about trifles be wiser, If to numb all the voices inside, Then all black becomes nobler among lights, And a mind with a madness entwined. I wanted to write down my last wish, And instead I am back at all rhymes. 'Tis my nature. I'm tired of fighting Foolish hopes too stubborn to die. The raven spoke truly a diamond, And the Voice was of a rare kind That either passes through mind or Stays forever inside Knifed with a memory, I feel no rage For the day's diseased fumes. I hold the feather, accept my doom, For he awaits to meet me soon. 14.05.19.
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I'm not buying
- I want you to change... "You don't like the clothes I wear?" - Change yourself. "What the hell?" What the hell d'you tell me And why the hell do I have to obey I'm not your slave to do as you say You don't even explain Don't expect this to happen i said. - Can you just pretend you care? How dare you? - Yes i dare. Why are you looking hurt This won't do any good trying to blame For staying the same. It worked just well When i kicked out pussies When they tried to push me I don't care if you weep And all this shit Does not make any sense When it comes to a choice Leave or stay. Stay the same With all the pain Not a crack on the stone So expect no softness Try to tease if you fucking please But I'm not gonna change a single thing Any reason you say it i see Your only goal is to break me Make me another headless shit with no spine. You picked the wrong kind, And might as well stop trying. I see your eyes, I'm not buying.
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#Banner
This time I'll wreck the mind I'll bring new banner New manner On the same old battle Thinking has no value Faces. Shadows. Symbols to get easy access To the mass subconscious. So much dirt on the mic 'cause When they take it they only try to To get something they want Primitive thoughts, care not for the dirt Tool is as clean as the goal Now I got a moment I hold I'ma tell you what I want (I'ma tell you what I want) This new banner Only me to hold? Hell no. Says it all What you read Only what you are told What you did Only what you've been taught (Only what you've been taught) No end, no beginning, no thoughts. Don't ever say a word, Don't be spitting the same nonsense Gotta be someone who cares I may be stubborn but I need my rest Where are you brothers? Hey... No, not again. I just wanted to be sure That I have ones fighting for But as always when I guard the doors They find ways to screw up more. (To screw up more) #Rap #Lyrics for: NF type #beat the wait 18.04.20.
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Closet Land verse
Spirals of this cruel life. Tell me about it, use those lies. Skyes above and roof to hide Or closet land to go when it hurts too bad. Sad face, face numb, Not a voice too loud, Not a smile of pride. Honest lies, laws of old, Children scared, empty halls. Tell me how much time it takes To lay the weight of all mistakes? Tell me why me of all? Is it because I'm lonely, Trust no one, Still bear a soul... Still utter these words... You will not let me in, I will not let you out. Two trapped beings In this half-true dark. Less i say, More i pay, More you crave. It all the same - You, me, and faceless them. There was a reason I'm here. I've had too vivid dreams, I've been bold enough to let them see There's a way outta here, Fresh air to breathe, Someone else to be, And so much to see. 8.09.19 11:42 Lyrics for the instrumental: Hip hop sad underground 11
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Leave me alone
Sometimes I have to be a cliche I have to play unfair to stay sane But I feel like i'll never raise a hand I'll just give away last minutes To stay the same To say the same To say his name In empty dream, yes I'm choosing illusions I'm staying, don't wait I'll be safe in here My soul's too much in fears I don't wanna leave it I'm choosing illusions I know you wanted me to call I know you wanted me to go Walls falling, new walls I'm sorry, I know it's wrong But please, leave me alone I'm too jealous to show you I'm too weak to say out loud I understand it's over now But if i tear off these illusions I'll die
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Antisocial
I know they meant good When locked me up in the safe room Told me all about rules Gave me guilt and my conscience Cultivated politeness But modesty trapped me in silence I was scared of what they might tell about me It forced me to hide Become pro in denial So wary I never played games Never been asking Never trust others Having been laughed at Long story short, I'm a case for psychiatrists Long story in dark colours But time wasn't any more kind Just that I was stubborn Kept me alive That's my confession Now I feel power The strange kind But it's the best I could find At night when they all shut up and leave I could crawl out of my room and breathe 25 04 20 Created for the beat: Antisocial dark piano underground
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Talking blood and bones
Nothing’s there, In disbelieving eyes. In the wind, wind back old days. We are left to dwell in hands of Fate - It never cares. Alas, but so few are ill enough to see Behind sweetness, behind the scene, Once and always to be outside the rims, Always seek for forbidden things. And I envy the stones. Thing that never live, Never feel sorrow. And I envy stars. I would burn my heart To ease my soul. After all joy, After all fair and false deeds, After all hope I had and lost, I am here. And I am nothing. In the world of stones I’m talking blood and bones.
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"ONES SIRVIVED" lyrics for ost GAME OF THRONES
Whispers of a cold time Many fears. And if longer We will wait it - overthrow. And Many fools here with the crown, but See, royal blood spilt                 in the dark Crowling. while their hearts are                 full of pride See the hidden crime in                 every sign Foe come when between them                 only lies People can't help asking Someone knows spoken, but not loudly Comes a war Word of freedom soon will be heard And men will rise their swords Northern winter make blood run cold If WAR worth it, no one to know Verse 2 Whispers of a cold time Many fears. And if longer We will wait it - overthrow. And Many fools here with the crown, but See, royal blood spilt                 in the dark Crowling. while their hearts are                 full of pride See the hidden crime in                 every sign Foe come when between them                 only lies We are to be gone now                 Or to die Reasons we have plenty                 no deny Word of freedom soon will be heard And men will rise their swords And the legend Is yet to come Will it be of Ones sirvived?
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Tolkien style
An anxient gold does not glitter Not all those who wander are lost Old that is strong does not wither Deep roots are not reached by the frost Hope that seem feeble is stronger Than any despair at all Forced truth will be better than sweetest Confession of a hollow soul Empty seat in a row tells us more Than a hundred Both bitter and terrible tales Those who came sha'n't be ever just shadows Reflecting, reminding and shame Thus, simple nature is trick This firmly has stated our mind Sophisticated as we are, still Sometimes it's better to learn from a child.
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If I could
/Before you read,           A note :                 Male voice: quick, monotonous, nervous./ Glass of soul’s eyes, Two–side mirrors With nothing INside. As it falls… We look and let it… As we step, as we stop… Nothing changes... still. But somewhere I had a sound, I had to breathe, I had to try… Where I was Something changes, Something matters. If I could... not to tell that lie… If I could…
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The window
Snow behind the window, cold pieces of light So many times I’ve watched it fall, cover the life Snow is my memory, life is my fantasy I’m still blind, still trying to look alive. Knowing everything and keeping silence. Knowing everything and keeping silence. I see lips moving, don’t try to listen, Forgive me or not as you please leave me here. Everything we wanted, everything we’ve had Just laid there, in snow and dust… I see no point, No idea why Must I join A thousand years’ cycle And it’s not just about me It’s in the pulse of the rhythm It’s about the abyss that lays behind the window It’s in you, it’s in me If we ever dreamt about anything. Anything. I say terrible and simple words Leave them out Like common stones For someone To stumble over And maybe someday somehow to be heard. ‘Cause it’s not just about my inner world Outer world Why do we have to split everything Let things be abysses and windows Them and us. You, me, Time. Dreams. You, me, Time. Dreams.
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Doesn't mean I'm insane
I was first one to make prayers I was the one to take vows Best times were spinning I was singing with the crowd Best times were spinning Somewhere around I tried my best like the rest Was lulled by faith in my chest They said it all for the best If someone’s gone, there’s no grief If they were good, they’re gone on wings I stumbled back with my wounds. And the pain, and the the rage Made me ask for His help. Time was slipping through my veins. Golden-dark face on the painting Just looked at me and waited So I had to go away. And I thought that was that not enough I’ve prayed, So I cured myself, letting go my shame. Growing up on the battlefield I held on my shields I had faith, hidden in my chest. On the last road home there walked a woman And strode with me the long, long paths I feared her beauty, Irresistable passion My diamond in dust, my drug People crowded, all to a light Like there was nothing else in dark She was there for them, walking hope, Elen. And I called her mine. Till that last time of ours. Till that last of her times. I stambled back, kneeling with my hollow, Pain-stained half-mad soul. I came back to the last refuge To beg the Lord to comfort me. The golden-dark face on the painting Just looked at me and coldly waited The image waited As I prayed. I prayed on knees till dusk and dawn I cried till I just could no more I begged with all the words I had The painting looked as I go mad. “Elen” I said And echo murmured dear name “God” And it returned with solemn coldness The echo sounded more like “none” I walked away From house of gold and smoke that day. I take the road With shameless smile on my face I’m non-believer. I carry Her name as my bane. I cursed the god And that doesn’t mean I’m insane.
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