(18+)
Does anyone really know, What it means, What it is to find a certain beauty, The kind of beautiful that is said to be, Found in the 'little things?' The moments that you never think, Could ever mean a thing? Is it really love you feel? Or is it something else, entirely? Because I hate it.... That feeling.... When it tries to sink it's claws in me... But then..... It becomes strong, Becomes "Mean"... Pleasurable, Blissful, exciting!!!! The only time I fell in love like this..... Um.... "What the fuck just happened?" I wasn't looking for it, And yet, there it was... I never would have guessed it,, Or could have ever imagined, But what's done, has been done, Beautifully, And I liked it! I enjoyed the feeling, Though I will never be the same again, Ha! Love... What was I thinking, When I thought I wouldn't feel pain!? Fuck love, And it's 'Earth-Shattering', The "Mean", The scream, The gleaming, ravenous teeth, Sinking in deep, Many people throw it around, But lose interest if it slows down... But do they REALLY know, Have they actually felt the sting...? The Wrath of, "It's Mean".....? There's conditional love, Like how Mothers love their children, And then there's eternal love, Burning sweet with passion, Try to describe THAT feeling.... It's ecstatic!!! Picture it, just imagine... Opening a door, And wondering, Why it won't shut? Something doesn't make sense, But it's got you wrapped around it.... Trying to figure out how the hell to get past it.... So all you can do, is just stand there and smile, All stupid like, And say, "Fuck it, you won"! nd you realize, in that very moment, It's over... Because, The heart that was once guarded, Has now become proud, A willing, Wounded soldier.... And made it! And that falling part? Oh man, that's the worst! Never knowing which one of you, Will be first, To lay down their sword! History has shown it to keep it's course, And nothing hurts worse, When you feel worthless, Not even physical pain, So what is love? When there is always a heart that is cursed? When there are so many losses, And not enough wins? Your soul destructs, The battle comes to an end... Is there supposed to BE an evil side, Of love, Or is Cupid's arrow all a fucking lie? Maybe it isn't, maybe it is.... But what I do know is this.... When love is still in your heart, Even after someone has to go, And you still feel that certain little something, Buried deep inside of your heart.... There's a beauty, There is a 'little thing'... A soul, a heart, a Meaning.... It isn't meant to be broken..... It's with you, It's something permanent... So as I throw my hands up, Smiling all stupid like, I scream, "Fuck it, you won"! And cherish every moment, Of "Becoming "MEAN" And I will let it win, Every single time!!! ©shantilly