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Tangled Thoughts
Late at night,
I stay awake deep in thought...
was it love at first sight,
or is it just a tangled knot?
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Temptation
No matter how alluring those eyes might be,
I keep telling myself to stay away
for they can be deadly for me,
wanting to hunt me down with those looks of a prey.
I have to refrain from that dimpled smile
and those perfectly straight white teeth,
because though it all seems like fun and games during that while,
I know the lies that lie beneath.
Though it's tough to stay away from
those bulging muscles peaking from underneath your tee,
deep inside, I know this relationship is not long-term
and soon enough you'll just wanna flee.
Resisting the urge to reach for
your somehow pefectly shaggy hair
is like an unwanted chore,
hard to bear.
And it's impossible pulling my hand away from yours
as you intertwine your long fingers in mine
But, myself, I have to force,
and act lik everything's fine.
This temptation is slowly eating at my insides,
but I continue to resist,
for I know that line that divides
this temorary love, and the love that always exists.
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Mind Off You
It's 3 a.m.
Can't get my mind off you.
People say I've found a gem,
but I'm not quite sure this is true.
The clock tiks on,
and yet I still can't get my mind off you.
Nearing is the crack of dawn,
it's quite a view.
Soon, I hear the sound of birds chirping a sweet song,
but I can't get my mind off you.
I don't exactly know what's wrong,
yet, by the minute, my worries grew.
The smell of morning coffee spills into my room,
taking my mind off of you for a few.
If you're also thinking of me or not, I can just assume,
'cuz I, for one, can't get my mind off you.
Everyone has their demons,
but thoughts of you are mine.
All these feelings,
can't get my mind off you,
mind off you.
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I'm baffled.
Are you the one,
Or is this all for fun?
Is it true?
You too?
People always leave me,
but I didn't know "we" were through.
Are we done for now?
I can't believe this...wow.
I'm not ready to let go
in the gutter, this relationship, you'll throw.
Was this all just a joke to you?
I wish I knew.
Would've saved so much time
if I didn't commit this heartbreaking crime
of loving you.
Lastly, Are you sure?
Do you really mean all of this?
'Cuz I thought our love was pure,
a path leading to eternal bliss.
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Like A Hawk
Like a hawk, on the stage, I dance.
Like a hawk, I take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime chance.
Like a hawk, I keep my eyes on the prize.
Like a hawk, above the rest, I rise.
Like a hawk, I pay no attention to the distractions.
Like a hawk, I'm aware of my actions.
Like a hawk, I spread my wings wide.
Like a hawk, across the stage, I swiftly glide.
And like a hawk, I win,
On my face, a grin.
***Key note that would make this poem make much more sense lmao: it's about dance compitions***
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Midnight Thoughts Pt. 2
The pain is overwhelming during the day,
I look forward to the night so it all goes away.
But as soon as I close my eyes,
a part of me just dies.
Awful thoughts come at me
from everywhere.
"Please! Leave me alone!" I plea,
but they only get worse from there.
I have never felt so broken,
in the thick air, words hang unspoken.
Suddenly, it gets hard to breathe.
I've always held on to the thought
that being along can be alright.
But now my head and heart are in a knot,
squeazing everything inside me tight.
I hang on to the last positivite thoughts I have,
but even that isn't enough.
For they are like ropes turning to strings,
not at all tough.
Still, I hang in there
because morning isn't far.
But each night gets harder and harder to bear,
each, leaving a scar.
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If
I lay here shivering.
Nothing can warm me
because my heart's too cold,
Or so I've been told.
My thoughts are driving me crazy
but I don't know what to do.
No one can help me,
there's nothing they can do.
So I sit here in silence,
contemplating if this is all worth it,
if I should just give up,
if...
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You
You.
You.
You.
Can't get my mind off of you.
Don't want to admit it, but it's true.
Every simple word or action
reminds me of my attraction
towards
you.
Couting down the minutes till we can unite
is how I spend every day.
Talking to you all night
still isn't enough and I wishyou could stay.
My mind spins in circles,
and only one thing can calm me down.
You.
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Moved On Damn Well
Once upon a time,
you were my obsession.
But was moving on a crime?
'Cuz you only ever led to depression.
You shattered my heart, boy,
isn't that what you wanted?
You treated my love like a toy,
my heart, you haunted.
I could never get back at you,
but I guess this is my revenge.
Now look at you, boo,
Our so-called relationship, you want to mend.
Look at me now,
the best I've ever been.
You think I'm still broken over you?
Damn boy, You can just keep wishin' that was true.
The time wasted on you, I regret.
Kind of wish we never met.
But I'm fully done now,
won't let you reenter my world anyhow.
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Fairytale
With my head burrowed into your chest,
I realize that you really are the best.
Your protective hand rubs circles on my spine,
sending a feeling through me, so devine.
Into your warm brown eyes, I look.
I see that you're love is true,
you're expressions, like an open book.
An uneasy feeling comes over me,
what even are we?
But as quick as it came,
the feeling disappears.
As soon as I hear you say my name,
I'm all ears.
Tighter to you, I cling,
not wanting to let go.
You place an arm around me like a wing,
and graze my skin ever so slow.
Before we know it,
the night has gone by.
The room is quickly sunlit,
and you let out a sigh.
"I love you so much,"
I softly exhale,
distracted by your soft touch.
All of this just feels like a fairytale.
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Midnight Thoughts
What terrible thoughts await for me in my bedroom,
i can only assume.
Though most nights are usually tough,
the monsters in my head have learned not to play too rough.
I instantly reach for my headphones,
to listen to music, my sanctuary.
This creates safe-zones
and makes my thoughts less scary.
But soon, the time comes,
where even music can't stop the voices in my head.
They boom loud in my mind like drums.
Please, I just wanna go to bed.
"You aren't good enough,
nor will you ever be."
"You really aren't that tough,
and you're really ugly."
"You're hated by everyone,
and never will you find someone who loves you."
In circles my mind spun.
What if all this is true?
I wanna scream,
I wanna shout.
Running down my face is a hot stream,
I don't even know what I'm crying about.
After that rollar coaster of pain,
I lay there, numb and emotionless.
I think I'm going mentally insane.
I check the time.
5:50 am.
Then I hear my alarm chime.
Might as well get up,
and, tomorrow, do this all again.
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My Stranger
As a random stranger,
you entered my world.
Who would've known,
that soon you'd be my curly-haired life changer.
You brought peace
to my chaotic storm.
You put my pain at ease
and made my heart warm,
Knowing that you're here for me,
there's no place I'd rather be.
Through all the tough days,
I know you'll make me feel better always.
You were never like the other guys,
who filled my life with tons of lies.
"Beautiful, pretty" you'd call me,
not "hot" or "sexy."
Before you, my stranger,
I thought love was overrated and fake.
But ever since I met you,
All night, thoughts of you keep me awake.
At the end of the day,
you really are just a stranger.
There is absolutely no way
that this relationship will work without putting our hearts in danger.
But at this point,
none of that really matters
because you're not just any stranger,
you're my stranger.
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They Say
"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," they say.
But I didn't believe that
because you talked about your father in a hateful sort of way.
We'd stay up all night and chat,
and you were fine with just that.
But not too long later,
you started wanting something greater.
"People change," they say
proven right, they are today.
I'd talk to you about my fear
of losing people that are dear.
"Don't worry, love, I'll stay" you said.
Where'd that love go now, huh?
Is it dead?
"You'll get over it soon enough," they say.
What am I supposed to say to that? Yay?
That's a load of crap
because it was all just a fucking trap.
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Same Old Shit
I can't believe I thought you were different,
unlike the others.
Little did I know,
your reality would soon show.
That facade you always keep up,
that fake mask,
would soon fall to the ground
and in sorrow, I'd drown.
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Blurred Vision
"Goodnight," I say
knowing that I'm lying
because I know
all night, I'll lay there crying
for inside, I'm dying.
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Endless Nightmare
I flip the light switch
and leap into bed.
I dare not to flinch
when I see what's ahead.
I glance over by the bookcase
and there it lies.
It's far too dark to see it's face,
but visible are it's beady red eyes.
I stare in awe
but then I hear it's gut-wrenching guffaw.
I quickly pull the blanket over my head,
but there, I see more red.
A shriek escapes my throat,
But it comes out as a quiet croak.
Suddenly I'm surrounded
and in my chest, my heart pounded.
Two slimy hands grip into my feet,
making my heart skip a beat.
Darkness swallows me whole,
my life, this beast stole.
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Illusion
A tear slipped down her cheek
As she cracked open her favorite book.
When she looked up,
Cotton candy looking trees towered over her.
The bees were buzzing.
The breeze was singing her own unique song.
The tiny ants on the ground were busy moving bread crumbs.
The squirrels were burring their acorns.
Even the clouds seemed to be smiling down at her.
"Chelsie!" Her mother called.
A tear slipped down her cheek,
As she snapped back into reality
And rushed downstairs.
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You
Your presence takes me by surprise,
My stomach fills with butterflies.
My heart flutters wildly,
My eyes shine brightly.
Your smile brightens the room.
Everything pauses for a minute,
And then I click resume.
Then the silence is broken.
You're voice is music to my ears,
But I didn't know that it would later lead to tears.
At the time,
Everything is fine.
More than fine.
Little did I know,
This happiness would quickly go.
I feel my vision getting hazy,
My mind is going crazy.
Thinking of you,
And how that was something I never thought you'd do.
I can't think straight.
This is a huge mess I never thought you'd create.
This feeling,
It's killing me inside.
But on the outside,
Not once have I cried.
A fake smile is plastered on my face,
Inside, that's not the case.
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Loved
Whether it was the beautiful sound of my mother's humming late at night
And her soft touch to my scalp as I drift off to sleep,
Or crying myself to sleep to the echoing sound of glass shattering on the wooden floors downstairs,
I knew that everything would be alright the next day
And I was loved.
Whether it was the reassuring squeeze of a friend's hand
Reminding me that I'm not alone,
Or the feeling of loneliness
As I sat in a crowded room full of strangers,
Deep inside, I knew I was loved.
Whether it was the wild screams coming from me and my best friend
As we zoom down the stomach-churning drop in the roller coaster,
Or the inaudible cries within at midnight as I lay in the dark,
My thought twisting and turning in awful ways,
I always felt loved.
Whether I was walking alongside my loved ones in bright lights,
Or fearfully stumbling alone in endless darkness,
I kept going because I know
That I was loved,
I am loved,
And I will be loved.
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