I hadn't talked to Ryan since my birthday party and that was killing me, I was so way over my head and I couldn't help but let out my feelings.I thought if maybe I talked to him I would no longer be walking in doubt so I rushed over to his place, as frightening as it was I chose to take the risk than sink in a pool of"what if"after all pouring your heart out and be hurt at the end is better than unsaid feelings right?

I knocked on his door and within seconds he answered, I could tell that he was surprised to see me and quite uncomfortable about it but like a gentleman he invited me in,I was so nervous that not a minute went by without taking a deep sigh with my hands in the back pocket of my jeans and looking around the place.
"wow, this place looks different. It feels like a year since I've been here" (then chuckles) I said nervously trying to break the silence.
"umm yeah, I made a little bit of changes with the walls, the furniture pretty much most things" he said as he strolled the back of his neck. (Clears throat) "so how've you been?how does it feel to be eighteen?"
"so far everything seems the same,"
"nothing new?" "that's what I've been meaning to ask you?" I said in a low voice. "I'm sorry?" Ryan answered with a surprised look on his face. "you know,it's something I've been wanting to ask you since we last kissed. Was there anything to it or was it just a kiss?"
"Becca I'm really sorry for what ha... " before he could finish his sentence I interrupted "are you really sorry?I may not be an expert in love but one thing I do know is  that that wasn't just a kiss, Ryan I know that you felt something that night when you kissed me, call me crazy but I don't regret kissing you."i said as tears started rolling down my eyes" Becca"
"let me finish,it's not something that I planned for, I didn't plan to fall for you but I did, Ryan I'm falling so hard for you and I have no control over it, you make me feel the things I've never felt before and it's not just about your looks but  everything about you.Before I met you age played a really big role in terms of who I dated but not anymore, I don't care how old you are or how old iam, you changed my life in so many ways I can't explain. "

After telling him what I had to say I headed to the door but before I could reach it he grabbed my hand, pulled me back and kissed me gently,his hands gently pressed on my cheeks and his lips slowly sliding in and out of my mouth, like butter on a hot pan I melted and held tightly onto his waist, he took a deep breath and looked me in my eyes and said"we could be heading down to a dangerous path, I don't want you to get hurt""I don't care, I want to be with you regardless the weather"i whispered to him,he then pressed his lips on mine and slowly slid his tongue in my mouth, I loved the feeling of our tongues rubbing against each other and the breath we shared mouth to mouth, ohh it was the most incredible feeling!!!!

It had been over two weeks since Ryan and I made it official and as much as I wanted to tell Tessa about it I couldn't, we kept our relationship private and quite slow, he's been busy with work and I've been preparing for the exams even though they seem to be miles away.After school I went straight to his house and I was so glad to see him, I ran into his arms and he lifted me, kissed me as I wrapped my legs around him. It had had been a long day and it felt so good to have him around. "Somebody missed me"(chuckles) he said as he put me down. I shook my head with a big smile on my face trying to deny the fact. "you're such a liar" he said as chuckled. "are you calling me liar? OK you got me(laughs) I missed you soo much, missed your kisses" he kept looking at me and obviously I sounded like a kid.

"come here" he said as he pulled me closer to him by my waist "how was your day" I groaned as I tilted my head"so long, the history teacher almost bored me to death, I mean what's the use of learning about something that is ancient "he chuckled then I continued" but the thought of you kept through the whole time"he then nudged my chin and said"but you have to pay attention in class regardless the subject"
"it's so hard when I have you wrapped around my thoughts all the time" he kissed me went to the kitchen and said"i prepared something for you to eat I bet you're hungry, "" most definitely, where's Melissa? "" with her grandmother, she wanted to spend time with her during the weekend "he said

" Are you ok with it? "" yeah, she's her grandmother and besides she's better than before, we're starting to get along. "After eating I went back home cause I didn't want mom to start asking questions. When I entered the house I saw her bags in the living room , wasn't sure of what was going on so I went upstairs to ask her," oh sweety glad you're here, "" what's going on? "" I got a call from hospital and I have to cover for a co worker for the weekend, the hospital's been busy lately and they need more stuff "" what happened to your co worker? "I asked" he's sick so I have to cover his shift, I hope you don't mind. I'm scared to leave you here alone but I'll call Mrs Walden to..... "" you don't have to, I'll be fine. I'll call Tessa and she can keep me company and Mr Ryan Hastings is there, don't worry I'll be fine. "" ohh,OK, if you need anything call me, I'm sorry I have to leave now my shift's about start now. Don't make a mess and no boys allowed!!! "mom shouted as she rushed to the door with the bags in her hands that seemed to be taking her down.


As soon as she left I locked up the house and went to Ryan's, I explained everything to him and he was ok with me spending the night at his. We made dinner and we made a mess in the kitchen but it was worth it,I still couldn't believe that this was happening. After dinner we cuddled up and watched movies, It was such an amazing night and I didn't want it to end.