WØRTHLESS

CVLD BLVVDED

(Note: The day I wrote this text, I was in a lousy mood. I literally felt worthless, so everything that will be written next - poured out of my soul.) BANG MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL BECAUSE I'M WORTHLESS, I TRY TO DO SOMETHING, IN THE END I'VE NOTHING, I'M WORTHLESS, THAT'S WHY I HURT MYSELF TO PUNISH, I CAN’T HOLD ANYTHING, MY WRIST IS BROKEN, I'M DEVASTATED, BOILING BLOOD FLOWS INSTEAD OF TEARS, VOICES FROM MY HEAD THAT I'M WORTHLESS ARE ALL I HEAR, I FEEL REAL DEPRESSION WITH DESPAIR, HOLDING MY HEAD PULLING OUT MY HAIR, IT'S LIKE I'M TEARING OUT ROOTS, FEELING PAIN, I REALLY GOT THE ROOF OFF I'M INSANE, THINK I ALREADY HAD AMNESIA, AND I'M GOING THROUGH IT AGAIN FUCK, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING, IT'S A MESS IN MY HEAD, SADISM AND PAIN MERGED, I AIN'T THINK I'M WELL I GOT BRUISES ON MY KNEES, I PAY THE PRICE FOR ALL MY SINS, I CAN'T FEEL MY HEART BEHIND MY RIBS, IT FEELS LIKE IT DOESN'T EVEN EXIST, WHAT? MY HEART IS RIPPED OUT OF MY CHEST, I THINK THIS LIFE'S SUCH A SHEER WASTE, BEEN IN THE DARK FOR SO LONG THAT I FORGOT MY FACE, WAIT, I FEEL THE SCARS THERE WHEN I TOUCH, THERE ARE SO MANY THAT I CAN'T COUNT, THE KNIFE'S ALREADY RUSTY BUT NOT DULL, GUESS I'M TALKING NONSENSE, MY BRAIN'S ALMOST ROTTEN. SCRATCHING THE WALLS BREAKING MY NAILS, I'M NOTHING AT ALL, I'M CONVINCED OF IT WITH EVERY INHALE, HAVEN'T EATEN IN DAYS, THIS FACT MAKES MY SKIN PALE, I AM LOCKED IN A CAGE, IN THE MENTAL AND REAL...

2021-01-31 07:27:01

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I Saw a Dream

Ілва Стрілецька

I saw a dream, and there were you, And there was coldness in your eyes. I wonder what a kind of true Made you become as cold as ice. And later I looked back to get a sense This empty glance was hellish call of past. It used to be a high and strong defense Against the world, the pain and me at last. You looked at me, and peering in your soul, I felt so lonely, as something vital died. And that is what I fear most of all - That nothing gentle will remain inside. Inside of you. Inside of me as well. And nothing will be said to farewell.

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